Home

Last night we arrived home from a long weekend of camping.  While I was looking forward to getting home- to be in a place where we could branch out a bit and get some space, do some laundry, and take a shower without worrying that the tanks were getting full-walking through the door into the house reminded me of walking from a colorful world, into a world of black and white.  Kind of opposite of Dorothy's emerging from her home in Kansas to the world of Oz, I felt a little depressed looking around at my house, covered in a weekends worth of dust that had blown through the windows while we were gone, dirty dishes in the sink, without a dishwasher to load them into.  Clutter from once living in a house more than twice this size, crammed into my now1100 square foot abode.  Where I once had pride in home ownership, I often feel overwhelmed by the never ending dirt, dog hair and lack of inspiration combined with the knowledge that this home is only temporary and in another 18 months we'll be packing up again-so why bother?

Often as I'm complaining aloud or just in my mind, I am ashamed.  I look around at the town of Kayenta and am often reminded that we live in one of the nicer homes in town.  As I've written before, many people don't have running water or electricity in their homes.  Many peoples homes are crowded with not "stuff", but people-more than there are beds or comforts.  I complain about my blessings to people who don't realize, what (I think) they are missing.

Last night as we were looking at footage of the wreckage from the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma, I was once again ashamed at my ungrateful heart.  I am always annoyed by others attitudes of entitlement and here I am as guilty as anyone of having that very attitude.  One friend posted on Facebook, her prayer for these families, some of whom may have lost a child in the school, but also their home and all the pictures, artwork and memorabilia from that child. As I ponder this nightmare I am more determined to be grateful for the provisions
that I have, to thank God for my blessings in the moments that I find myself complaining, and live in a way that I won't be remembered for my spotless, beautiful home and perfectly positioned possessions, but for an attitude of generosity, hospitality and authenticity.