Judgement

This isn't meant to be a blog about faith. I suppose that because my faith is a part of who I am however, it is only natural to come up in my posts.

We are on our way home from a week with one side of my in-laws. My father-in-law is a man I have not spent much time with, although I know he is a highly religious man and quite evangelistic. While I consider myself a Christ follower, I would not put myself in the category of an evangelist. I am not eloquent with words and it is more of my belief that our actions speak louder than words.

The other morning, we were having a conversation in the kitchen when he suddenly steered the conversation over to the topic of salvation and more specifically the topic of my salvation. He was telling a story about his Grandfather when he asked me the question, "if someone asked you the question of why you should be let into heaven, what would you say?" I was not expecting to be put on the spot and stumbled over my words with the Sunday school answer I knew he was looking for, but questions like that bother me and quite honestly, they always have. I don't know if it's the feeling that I'm being judged by another human being or if I feel that my performance is what they'll be rating me on.

As we are driving across the very enormous state of Texas towards our home, my mind drifted back to that conversation in the kitchen. I think my father-in-law was satisfied with my answer, but I wasn't. It didn't feel like my words even though they came from my mouth.

As I was watching the brown, grassy landscape whiz by and the sun set behind those western Texas mountains, I began to contemplate and feel gratitude that in the end, I will not be judged by another human being. My score will not be given based on the number of Bible verses I can correctly quote and my place in heaven will not be determined by the eloquence of my words, because The Lord knows I am not an eloquent speaker! I am thankful that the One who judges me, knows my heart. He knows my thoughts.  My doubts and fears are not hidden from him. He knows my story and he knows my ways better than I do. Thankfully, He will judge me without my spoken words because He knows what I would say anyway.

I should have been prepared, because I think my father-in-law has told me that story before, and now that I think of it, I think he's asked me that question each time we've spent time together. I hope the next time he does I can remember to respond with an answer more along the lines of "Thankfully my judgement is in the hands of God."

A promise in a rainbow

Last night as we left the animal shelter, the doctor warned me that tomorrow there would be 3 less dogs.  I know that the shelter has been in financial strain as well as overflowing with animals with more and more coming in.  We've helped make space as the dogs multiply, as people bring in more boxes of abandoned puppies, but usually we find other shelters that will at least take our puppies.  At this point as we are busting at the seams, I understand that the doctor has to make these tough decisions.

When I asked who the 3 dogs that she would put down, I knew that there weren't any dogs that I would  feel content with losing.  However, knowing who's fate was death, was a burden I found difficult to bear.

 Bolt came to the shelter as a puppy.  He came soon after we began fostering Ruby, and we were certain that he was her puppy.  He's a spunky little guy, but sweet.  He's been at the shelter at least since April, with no interest in his adoption.  Because he has been there so long, he was on the chopping block.

Mr. T (aka Jack), is a wiry, blue heeler mix.  He snagged our hearts as soon as we met him. He's a little on the energetic side, but sweet.  I know that both of these dogs would easily find someone who would love them anywhere off the Rez, but here in Kayenta, their chances were not good.

The third dog, is one that came in late last week.  We also see the similarities between he and Ruby, which made us instantly fall for him.  Each time I think that the cruelty or stupidity of humans cannot shock me, I find I am wrong. Two women brought this guy in.  He was hiding in the bed of the truck, understandably terrified of them.  When George came out to get him, we discovered why.  Here on the reservation, sheep are castrated with the use of rubber bands.  Rather than surgically sterilizing the male, they tie rubber bands around the testicles, and eventually they fall off and apparently heal on their own.  Well, someone figured that would be the best way to prevent this little guy from reproducing, and by the time he arrived at the shelter, it was beyond cutting the rubber band to alleviate the pain, and yet they were still dangling from his body, bloody and undoubtedly sore.  Despite his painful status, he did not snap or growl, he submissively went into his crate where he has waited.

After hearing the news of the fate of these dogs the kids and I were sad.  We've discovered at different intervals of our time here, that dogs we loved had been put down because of different negative behaviors or for the sake of space-difficult decisions that I understand must be made under the circumstances.  But knowing ahead of time, gave me the sense that I had a responsibility to do something.  These young, sweet dogs would be a waste if put down now.

As soon as we arrived home, I began advertising these sweet dogs in any avenue I could think of and struggled under the burden of knowing their fate and wondering if I should bring them to our house until I could find a permanent home for them.  Soon after I had finished my task and there was nothing to do but wait, Isaak announced that there was a giant rainbow that could be seen from our front door.  I went out to see the magical arch and as I admired it's beauty, I was reminded of the story of Noah's Ark, and how after the destruction of the earth, God sent a rainbow as a symbol of his promise to restore the earth and not to destroy it again. It may seem cheesy, but at that moment I felt like it was a message to me, that things would be taken care of.

Soon after the appearance of a rainbow, I received an email from a woman who was very interested in meeting and adopting Bolt.  She told me the story of her dog she had recently lost to cancer, and how she was ready to bring a new dog into her life.  A couple hours later, I received a second email, this time someone was interested in Mr. T.  The kids and I were so relieved and yet the fate of the half castrated dog still weighed on my heart.

This morning, I drove to the shelter to speak with the doctor about the homes I had found, praying that the dogs had not already been put down and trying to settle within myself that if the black dog was put down that at least he would be out of misery.  When I announced that I had found homes, the doctor was shocked and when I pleaded for the life of the black dog, she immediately said she would save him. I was ecstatic and a bit overwhelmed at the small miracle that had occurred over the 16 hours.

I know it may seem silly to be so involved emotionally over the fate of dogs, when there are children battling cancer, children who are subject to domestic abuse, sexual abuse and hunger here on the rez. But as I have wrestled with these issues, I have come to realize that at this point in my life, I am not in a position to intervene for these children.  I do not see these abuses, our house is too small to bring in another child (and the navajo nation does not allow non-natives to adopt Navajo children) and I am not involved in an agency that deals with atrocities.  I am however, raising my children to feel compassion for those who are vulnerable and to do what we can to fight against injustices-even if it is a life of a dog.  Perhaps someday I will be able to do more for the children through foster care or maybe even social work, but as I see it, Adam and Eve's job was to take care of the earth and the animals in it and at this time in our life, we are doing our small part to make Kayenta a better place.

Home

Last night we arrived home from a long weekend of camping.  While I was looking forward to getting home- to be in a place where we could branch out a bit and get some space, do some laundry, and take a shower without worrying that the tanks were getting full-walking through the door into the house reminded me of walking from a colorful world, into a world of black and white.  Kind of opposite of Dorothy's emerging from her home in Kansas to the world of Oz, I felt a little depressed looking around at my house, covered in a weekends worth of dust that had blown through the windows while we were gone, dirty dishes in the sink, without a dishwasher to load them into.  Clutter from once living in a house more than twice this size, crammed into my now1100 square foot abode.  Where I once had pride in home ownership, I often feel overwhelmed by the never ending dirt, dog hair and lack of inspiration combined with the knowledge that this home is only temporary and in another 18 months we'll be packing up again-so why bother?

Often as I'm complaining aloud or just in my mind, I am ashamed.  I look around at the town of Kayenta and am often reminded that we live in one of the nicer homes in town.  As I've written before, many people don't have running water or electricity in their homes.  Many peoples homes are crowded with not "stuff", but people-more than there are beds or comforts.  I complain about my blessings to people who don't realize, what (I think) they are missing.

Last night as we were looking at footage of the wreckage from the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma, I was once again ashamed at my ungrateful heart.  I am always annoyed by others attitudes of entitlement and here I am as guilty as anyone of having that very attitude.  One friend posted on Facebook, her prayer for these families, some of whom may have lost a child in the school, but also their home and all the pictures, artwork and memorabilia from that child. As I ponder this nightmare I am more determined to be grateful for the provisions
that I have, to thank God for my blessings in the moments that I find myself complaining, and live in a way that I won't be remembered for my spotless, beautiful home and perfectly positioned possessions, but for an attitude of generosity, hospitality and authenticity.

Lost for a Reason

Besides work and school, JJ has been busy promoting and helping out with a charity called Lost for a Reason.  This soon to be non-profit, was started by a man who lives in the Denver area, who loves to motorcycle through the lands on the Navajo Reservation.  After many miles of traveling, he was struck-as we are- by the poverty that is much like underdeveloped countries, here in the United States.  As a rider who enjoys the beauty of these barren lands, he decided he wanted to give back to the people who inhabit this region, but the question remained, how can I best do that?  And from this big heart and big idea, Lost for a Reason was born.

So how did JJ get involved? Well, from his many hours on advrider.com, he was referred to Ron, the man who started the non-profit, as the man who could be the legs on the ground here on the Rez.  In the last 4 months or so, JJ has delivered thousands of dollars to the organizations here in Kayenta that help the Navajo people.  Charities such as the Catholic church-who opens their doors as a soup kitchen, Kayenta Baptist, who organizes a soccer program for the youth, and the shelter for women and children  have received funds raised by fellow adventure riders.

This summer a campout is planned for adventure riders to gather and ride through the beautiful country that we currently call home, but also to accomplish some much needed construction repair for the people on the Navajo Nation.  It's hard to believe, but many of the people here do not have electricity and running water in their homes.  They have tires holding down their roofs from the powerful winds that whip across the town.  The Lost for a Reason crew, hopes to make a dent in the long list of repair needs here on the Rez.

I am very proud of the work JJ does here. Throughout the last few months there have been many days that he has come home from work carrying the weight of these kids and people on his shoulders, with the same burden of hopelessness that is felt all over this reservation. He, like his co-workers, is overwhelmed at the devastating numbers of child abuse cases, and the high rates domestic violence, drug abuse, suicide, and alcoholism.   Lost for a Reason is a blessing for the Navajo people, but also for JJ.  It combines his love of motorcycle and adventure with his work of helping heal the brokenness of this place.  The ability to do something practical for those hurting, and the enthusiasm from fellow riders and their desire to help, gives him energy to carry on.  In the months since Lost for a Reason has taken off, I have seen a rejuvenated sense of hope and purpose in his work.

We felt we were called to Kayenta, and it is overwhelming the amount of need that we discover each day.  It will take more than just prayer and a few people willing to live in this desolate region.  The people of the Navajo Nation, and I suspect other reservations in this country, need more help.  As we brainstorm more practical ways of helping the Navajo people, as JJ continues to search out organizations who are already helping the people in this community-who might need more support, I hope that you too will think of ways that you can help.  We are looking into ways we can provide free or affordable clothing to the children of Kayenta.  There is a need for staff throughout the medical center and there will be even more positions to be filled when the new hospital is finished next year.  There is a need for mentors, after school programs, pregnancy prevention programs, etc.  With the help of organizations such as Lost for a Reason, a spark has been started. It is our hope that whatever work is begun here, will be continued even after we leave.

birthdays

Mykah has been really looking forward to her upcoming birthday.  Not a day goes by without some conversation about it.  This morning the conversation went like this:

Mykah: Mom, did you turn 5 after you were 4?

Me: yes, I turned 5 after I was 4

Mykah: gasp! (with excitement) And then did you turn 6 after 5?

Me: yes, I was 6 after I was 5.

Age.  It's chronological.

10 years

It is hard to believe that ten years have passed since we said good-bye. This time of year always surprises me.  How does the body know what month it is? How does my heart always remember before I see the date?
Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and your memory. Each time I make a loaf of bread or sit down at my sewing machine, I think of you and wish you were here. But life does not stand still and moments are lost wishing to change the past, and so as I have racked my brain with ways of celebrating your memory, and your life.  I have chosen to remember on this 10th anniversary of your death, ten lessons I have learned from your life.

1. Serve others with love. You did this so well. Through work, church serving friends and family, you served always with love.  I remember the hours you spent creating props for "Children and Worship", making gifts for loved ones, and the endless miles of driving us kids to our activities. I remember the stories of your patients who would ask that you be their children's god parent or even your hospital roommate in those last few days, who you were making sure she got out of bed, from the other side of the room. I am grateful for the 5 months you arranged your schedule and faithfully woke up early to take care of your grand baby, so that I could go to my teaching job before JJ got home from his night shift...

2. Have faith in God. There are so many times that I feel weak, and full of doubt. When you've been raised to believe that it takes only the faith of a mustard seed to move a mountain and you believe with all your heart that God is going to heal your sick mother because He has the power to do so, and He doesn't, then where do you turn and how do you learn to pray with faith again? In those moments, I remember you. I remember how you sang "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus" so strong in that hospital bed, with the tubes of oxygen in your nose, and a smile on your face, when the rest of us could barely finish the song-even when you knew your life on earth would be ending too soon. And I remember the story of you seeing angels when they first put that breathing machine on, after you'd gone too long without oxygen and your lungs were so full of fluid.  And I remember how you returned from wherever you were just to say goodbye to my sister and Grandpa in those last hours. In my darkest hours, I cling to your faith, because you were strong and I know you knew where you were headed next.

3. Be free to laugh and laugh often. I admire this quality although I don't follow your example nearly enough. A few weeks ago, the kids and I watched Dennis The Menace, and I could still hear your laugh each time Dennis was talking. I could imagine the tears rolling down your face as you laughed-much harder than anyone else-but not embarrassed to stifle the joy you felt. I remember how you would tell us stories about something that happened at work and how you could barely get through the story because you were laughing so hard. I wish I could laugh like that.

4.  Love others cook them good food. You always made such good food. Although I have to admit I never liked the cheese strata and to this day I cannot eat eggy casseroles with bread, you inspired me to make food from scratch and taught me that homemade is always better than store bought. As a kid, I remember thinking Kraft macaroni and Butternut bread was a special treat (thank goodness my kids are smarter than I was at that age!) As I come across new recipes and have perfected oatmeal I wish I could call you to tell you about it, or better yet, make it for you. And I'm so grateful for that cookbook you made me of the "Bonga's Best." I will treasure it always.

5. Don't worry about what others think about you. I love that you wore Birkenstock clogs before they were cool, or did yard work in your stretch pants, and wore a nose plug to open swim. I love that you wore a bikini and laid out in the sun when it was barely warm, because you loved to and I love that you took piano lessons as an adult, and didn't worry about what others might think of you. I think we could all use a lesson about that.

6. Play with your kids. Another lesson I need to take to heart. I know you didn't always have time with a full time job, but I remember many times that you came out to play kickball with us. I remember coaching soccer with you in high school and playing soccer with you in college. You went on bike trips with Kendra and David and always encouraged us to be active.

7.  Love your husband. I think that this lesson I learned equally from you and Dad, but I always felt secure in knowing that you loved each other. I only remember 2 disagreements between the two of you and they were  such  rare occasions, that they stuck in my memory. I remember you both being very affectionate when greeting one another, and no matter how much you hated watching tv, you often would take some time to sit and snuggle with him in front of it, just to spend time with him.

8.  Have some discipline. Although you were a carefree spirit, you realized a need for balance and order. Saturdays we cleaned the entire house. You exersized regularly but also took time to sit and relax-drinking your coffee on the porch each afternoon. Although there was always flexibility with this rhythm, discipline was important for a happy home.

9. We are not exclusive. I remember your friends came in every color and race and so did ours. I don't remember noticing  a difference until having a conversation with friends at church who could count the number of nonwhite kids in their school on two hands.  I remember having a conversation with you as you were ironing, about my friend that I had grown up with, who had announced he was gay, and how you said that if we had been that way, you would love us the same.  I remember how our home was always open to anyone and became a home for many outside of our biological bonds. You taught us to see people as people and nothing else.

10. Life is short, so live well.  This is the hardest lesson you've taught me, and I'm not sure I've grasped the live well part yet.  I have spent too much time over the past 10 years worrying about the expiration date of our time on earth and not enough time living the life.  I have learned from those you confided in, that you always suspected you'd die at a young age, and yet I never suspected you had those thoughts. Some people say there is a reason for everything, perhaps there is truth in that. I think there could have been great reasons for your life to continue, many people may have gained faith or kept their faith, but that was not the way things worked out. Through your death, I learned a great lesson in loss, and I am grateful for who I am now  You lived life well and I am thankful for the example you made and the legacy you left.

I love you mom.

The transition continues

     It's been a few months since my last post.  In the last 2 months we traveled 4,000 miles to see family and friends in Michigan and Oklahoma, JJ was deployed to assist in the aftermath of the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting, we've fostered 2 dogs, and have endured the unexpected cold of northern Arizona.  JJ spent a whirlwind weekend adventuring in Mexico on his motorcycle and has returned for the second semester of his doctoral program.  The kids and I are now preparing to go on our own adventure, this time to Michigan for a Gunson wedding, then continuing on to Virginia to visit with friends and meet the newest member of the Skipper family and finally through North Carolina to visit with my sister in-law and nephews before the return trip to Arizona.  All in all we will be 3 miles short of 5,000 when we return, if you don't count any driving we do in each of our destinations.

     I'll be honest, life in Kayenta hasn't been easy.  True, it is an adventure and there are beautiful places to explore here,  but the unexpected, frigid temps of the winter, combined with the shortened days and the lack of friends to share the times with have been tough.  We knew, going into this that it would be a difficult transition and possibly difficult couple of years, but no matter how you prepare yourself for reality, it's always different than you ever imagined.  

Each time we have moved, I have had to relearn the lesson that life isn't about me being happy.  I do pray that my children are happy, and will have great memories of their childhood, but I often have to remind myself, that it is not what each "home town" has to offer me, rather what do I have to offer each new "home".  It is a difficult lesson. I know that once I begin to involve myself in a meaningful way, I will feel more at home.

Live with you forever....

The other day I was helping Mykah get dressed, and we were putting on her tights-part of her daily uniform.  As she was putting her foot in to the carefully synched up sock, I made the comment of how tough it was to get her tights on.  In reply she said "I should be the Mom and you should be the kid".

I smiled, as she is quite the little mommy, and said "Someday, when you are married and have kids, I will be their grandma"

We discussed this idea for a minute and then she was quiet.  I looked up and she had tears in her eyes, and she very slowly said "I don't want to get married, I want to live with you forever."

I smiled at her sweetness, and hugged her.  "Ok, you can live with me forever".

Ahhhh, the innocence of a 4 year old....

Phoenix

The girls after their recital in Virginia

I was disappointed with my lack of pictures taken this last weekend.  While JJ flew out to Chicago for the weekend of classes, the kids and I camped at the KOA in Apache Junction, AZ with our friends the Wilds girls.  The Wilds are friends from Portsmouth.  A navy family whose daughters quickly became Annika's best friends and their mom quickly became my good friend, perhaps the connection was so easy because of our Michigan homeland.  They PCS'd to San Diego last August (2011), much to our disappointment, but we were  so happy to be within a days drive now, and even better to have a nice middle meeting point to hang out in-Phoenix!

The kids had a great time just hanging out.  It was as though the last year and some months had never past.  On Saturday we drove up part of Apache Trail, with a stop at Goldfield Ghost Town, an obvious tourist trap, but a good spot to stop for the kids.

Watching a gunfight in Goldfield Ghost Town 

After the ghost town, we continued on down Apache Trail, past Canyon Lake-just beautiful, and the road is a paradise for Motorcyclists-and stopped at Tortilla Flat, the last official stage coach stop on the Apache Trail.  They have a fun restaurant with great burgers and saddles to sit on.  The kids enjoyed the atmosphere, and signed a dollar bill to add to the collection on the walls.

Afterwards we tried some prickly pear ice cream. 

On Sunday Julie and the girls headed back to San Diego, and we ran errands, packing up the RV with supplies until the next time we head to town.  The kids were less than thrilled with IKEA, and all the other stops on my list, but what do you do, when your opportunity to shop is so limited? 

Bath time

Have you ever seen such a big baby?

Homeschooling on the rez

Annika, trying to carve into the rock.

I've said it before, but it's worth stating again that I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to homeschool my kids.  I never thought I'd have the desire to homeschool, but after moving to Virginia, the 3rd state in 3 years, and knowing that would possibly be the pattern for the next 20, it seemed the right thing to do.  I'm thankful for the chance to spend so much time with my children, to learn with them, to have the flexibility to learn outside of the "classroom", to travel anytime we want to, to show them the world.  However, just like being a parent, it comes with a huge and sometimes heavy responsibility.

Exploring a female hogan

 Although going to public schools was a great experience for me, I know that I am lazy when it comes to school work.  Somehow I was able to get by with good grades, even being in the honor society, without much studying, or hard work.  I was able to juggle many extracurricular activity, take college prep classes, and hold a job all while succeeding in school-however I realize now that I failed myself and did not retain the things my teachers taught me.  I know you can only retain so much information, and you retain most of what you use on a regular basis, but I was able to store the information fed to me in my short term memory for the tests and release it once I didn't need it anymore.  I am hoping for my own kids, that learning together, and through experiences, they will retain more of what I am teaching them.  Relearning along side my children, I am able to try and help them connect what they learn today with the things we learned in years past.

However, there are many nights that I lay awake and pray that I am not failing my children.  I do not have the schools or other teachers to blame when they are struggling with something.  I cannot write the teacher a letter and tell them that my child needs more help in a certain area.  The responsibility falls on my shoulders when they need more practice or a little more tutoring to succeed.

Mykah displaying her stone cairn

Often times I have to remind myself that the things they struggle with, they would struggle with in school and I have the ability to give them more time and more practice then they would get in school.  I remind myself that in their struggles they would either be singled out into "special groups", labeled, or left behind-which could hurt their self esteem and prevent them from reaching their full potential.  I have to remind myself that everyone learns or makes connections at different times in their journey, and while one child may excel in one area, another excels in quite a different area- but in their differences they will succeed in being what they were meant to be.

Isaak racing through the trail in Arches National Park, UT

In Virginia, they had the opportunity to join a co-op where they had the opportunity to be in classes with friends, and learn from other mom's who had different teaching styles and gifts.  Here in Kayenta we are seeking other opportunities.  Again, I have to remind myself that it took over 2 years to find the co-op that fit us best, and while there are not co-ops here, there is the opportunity for them to join the specials at the local elementary school.  I am looking into that and am hoping it will be a positive experience.

In Virginia, we were blessed to have many friends who were homeschooling their kids.  I enjoyed the support and camaraderie of friends who were on the same journey as I was, to be reminded that everyone has struggles and to be able to brainstorm ideas to help one another and share stories of successes.  My kids also enjoyed being surrounded by other kids who were home-schooled, which gave me a much needed break each day.

We have only home-schooled in Virginia, a state and an area that is saturated with homeschooling families.  Homeschooling on the reservation is a new experience, with new opportunities and experiences.  Our kids are being immersed in a new culture, they are experiencing a new area of the country that is completely different from any place we've ever lived before.  Together we are able to volunteer at an animal shelter, an opportunity that I know they would not be able to have until they were teenagers in any other place.  They have responsibilities there that most people don't have until their first job and are learning such valuable skills and gaining such a unique experience that has already changed them significantly.  I know that they will retain these things that they are learning, because they are experiencing them first hand.

In the times I am stressing out, that I am not doing enough and I see the laundry piling up and the boxes, still needing to be unpacked.  As I dream of projects I'd love to work on, or things I'd love to do for myself, I am constantly learning to be thankful for this time in my life.  I realize how quickly time flies.  I have to remind myself that there will be many hours when the kids are grown up, that I will be able to work on my projects and my house will someday be cleaner, but I will long for these moments of time with my kids.  And my prayer, is that as a result of this experience, the kids will be able to achieve their goals and aspirations.

The Grand Canyon

 Who gets to swing by the Grand Canyon on their way to get groceries?  We do! While we might need to load up the "wagon" and travel into town to get supplies, we do have the benefits of amazing rest stops, and views!

 We left Kayenta after JJ got home from work and drove to the south rim in the dark.  As we were looking for a place to park "Shake Down", I had visions of movies where the people are driving in the dark and unknowingly drive off the cliff-it was slightly eery. 

 But in the morning, we had an amazing view... and with our national parks pass, it was free!

We can't wait to go back.

Monument Valley

We live 18 miles from the Utah border, and just a few more from Monument Valley.  While JJ talks about Monument Valley and other famous natural attractions as being places he's always dreamed of seeing, I can't say I'd ever given it much thought.  I remember my Dad always dreaming of taking us out west to Yellow Stone Park, and the Grand Canyon, but I honestly have never heard very much about these other places.  I was a bit surprised to find that I think this rocky, reddish-brown landscape is beautiful.  I tend to favor the lush, green Appalachian Mountains, with deciduous trees that change with the seasons and grass to cover the rolling hills. Growing up in Michigan where you have a variety of landscapes, from fields of corn, and wheat, to the great lakes with their beautiful sand dunes, orchards full of fresh fruits, rolling hills and flat lands, towns and cities that offer variety of their own, I thought the brown desert with very little civilization would depress me, but instead it's inspired awe.

(here we resemble the crayons for the backdrop:) )

 So much of the landscape here looks unreal, like a painted backdrop in our photographs. 

 We weren't able to do any hiking on this visit.  JJ was healing from a foot injury, and so our tour of the Valley was from the van.  but it was beautiful just the same.

This is called Artist Point.  It is a perfect place to spend a day or several, painting the lovely view.

 Like most Americans, Monument Valley was a place I had only seen in Forrest Gump, but it's worth seeing in person, tourists and all.

As we were checking out the above sign, a bus load of Chinese tourists arrived.  As you can see, they take their photography very seriously.

We have discovered that Admrial is quite the tourist attraction as well.  He has been photographed and admired at many of the places we have visited.

If you'd like to visit Monument Valley, remember that you will have a place to stay:)

Volunteering

The kids and I volunteer at the animal shelter 3-4 days a week.  It started out just walking the dogs, but each day we get more responsibilities.  I really think that our time here has helped make the transition easier for all of us.  Having something to do each day, and interacting with these animals who are so happy for the attention, time out of their cages and of course dinner, which comes after their walks.  There are also several other kids who volunteer quite regularly, so the kids are making friends as well.

 As I see the many strays out on the reservation, I can't help but feel so concerned for their health and safety.  The animal shelter is bursting at the seams, and yet there are dogs EVERYWHERE searching for a scrap of food on the pavement and as the nights become cold, a warm place to sleep.  There is a mom at the shelter who gave birth to 5 puppies of her own, but is nursing 13, as a box of abandoned 4 day old puppies were found just before she gave birth.  Everyone must do their part for survival...

 The dogs are so sweet.  I was surprised because they are essentially wild dogs, and yet most of them are very submissive and great with kids.  At this point the shelter has not used Petfinder, but they are working to get connected and I am searching for specific dog rescues to partner with us and find these dogs loving homes, so that more dogs can be helped soon.

Foxy, the new pomeranian mix

If you are in the market for a dog or cat, let me know.  I can find you a friend for life!

Gone to the dogs....

My step mom texted me the other day, and asked if I had felt we had gone to the dogs.....

Rocky

We found this puppy in the grocery store parking lot this week.  We had seen him before and tried to catch him for the shelter, but when we returned to find him, he was gone...This time, we did find him, and he happily came over to me.  He was very sweet, wagging his tail in the car, and making a nervous cry.

We brought him to the shelter and he's been there for the last two days.  He's still in isolation, while they make sure he doesn't have any serious conditions, but he seems so sad.  He just lays in his kennel, and didn't even want to come out for a walk. He's on my mind so often, it's very likely we'll take him in as a foster, and my step mom might be right...

Anyone looking for a sweet male puppy to love?

They will know we are christians by our love..

JJ signed us up for www.couchsurfing.org/. Of course, while our house was still filled with boxes and with a new dog, he received a request for a place to stay from this guy.  Sunim, (which we learned is the name for monk), has been traveling on his bicycle since April.  He has already ridden from the west coast of Canada, just above the US border, to Prince Edward Island, down to Ohio, taken a train to Chicago, and then again down to Flagstaff.  From there, he rode to Kayenta, and continues on through Monument Valley to California and down through Central America to the tip of Argentina. When we asked what inspired the trip, through his broken English, we got that he felt he needed to do something, or something was missing.  He tried to push the thoughts away, but finally had to give in to do something big and he chose to sort of "circumnavigate" the America's.  

It was interesting to learn through conversing with Sunim, that in Seoul, Korea, once you are a monk, you are a monk for life. He has been a monk for the last 24 years, since he was 19.  As a monk, from what I understood from his explanation, the goal is to empty yourself of all human emotion, everything.  So he has had no contact with his family since he was 19.  I asked him if his family was buddhist, and he said yes, and that he had known he would be a monk since he was young.  He said his mother said "No, no monk!" which I can completely understand. How could you say good-bye to your  loved ones forever?

I try not to be so full of judgement.  It is a weakness of mine.  But two thoughts have come to my mind since his visit.  One, he's on a search.  Obviously. But in the search, he's left his monastery for 2 years, and he's given up some of his monk ways that are linked to his beliefs.  For one, he's eating meat and they believe in reincarnation.  So, my first thought(s) is, what is he missing?  What will he find through this journey? And how will he be changed

I cannot help but think of his situation, from the perspective of a christian.  In no way did we try to convert him, but he was very aware of our beliefs.  We prayed as a family before dinner. When he came in for breakfast (he stayed in the guest house..aka the rv), the kids and I were reading the Bible-always the beginning of our school day.  He was very curious about our curriculum and I showed him Sonlight, and the books we would study throughout the year, as well as the curriculum we would study in the future. He made several comments about the kids throughout his stay-observations about how they were different from other children he encountered-and how our parenting seemed very different from the parenting he knew in Korea.  

My other thought, again a thought, and not a judgement, I couldn't help but wonder what other christians thought about us hosting a Buddhist monk.  I know many of our friends and family would have done the same, but especially in this time of election, where everyone is fired up about their beliefs and divided over issues and candidates, passionately posting on Facebook where they stand, I get another feeling from people who I know love God-

christians do not always emulate love.  

As I was washing dishes last night, considering this thought, I remembered a song we used to sing at camp, one I remember my Mom singing with her guitar:

"They will know we are Christians by our love, by our love, yes they'll know we are christians by our love"

But is that true? This made me think of Jesus, and how many of the stories we see in the New Testament tell about the people he chose to spend time with-Zaccheus, the tax collector who everyone hated; The woman at the well, a known prostitute; his disciples who were fisherman and not Rabbi's.  
I'm not in anyway, comparing our guest to these people, however, Jesus did not limit his time with religious leaders-in fact he was often rebuking them as a result of their judgements.  I believe through love, his message is most clear.  

Sunim's goal is to make it to the tip of Argentina, however, while his English is slightly broken, his Spanish is nearly non-existent.  He is trying to learn, however he probably has less than 10 Spanish words in his vocabulary and he'll be in Mexico in just a few weeks.  

To tie this together, what might his journey look like if he has many Christians hosting him.  What if through hospitality, not evangelism, questions are raised.   I know from my own experience, the posting of the opposing political beliefs on facebook actually makes me want to block my friends news feeds.  What effect does preaching an opposing faith have?  Sometimes the gentle example speaks louder than words. 

If you have any connections in Central or South America who might consider hosting Sunim on his journey, you can contact his team through this link. JJ and I are concerned for his safety as he continues his "journey of spirit" through some areas that are full of unrest.  Please consider what you can do to help.

Lady

Oscar

I love the Shar pei.  When I was in Junior High, I gathered all of my money (somewhere around $30), and purchased about 20 posters of puppies and some kittens, out of an educational motivation catalogue one of my teachers had.  Most of them were of shar pei's, as they tend to be such adorable puppies, and the wrinkles seem to inspire so many quotes pertaining to overcoming things and growing up.

I plastered the walls of my room with these posters, literally acting like removable wallpaper.

Sella

Admiral

The first Christmas we were married, JJ surprised me with my first live Shar pei.  We named him Oscar, and though he gave us many challenges-I was hooked.  There is no other breed that compliments my personality so well.  After he passed, we soon found Sella, our second Shar pei, and days after her passing, we found Admiral.

Sella had been bred for personality, and she was exceptionally sweet. I had forgotten the difference in personality between the male and female, especially when the breeder had intended to breed a sweet dog, so Admiral has been a reminder of the finicky male.

Our youngest daughter has an unquenchable love for animals.  She would probably spend her entire day, doting and petting and hugging a dog, if the dog would allow.  The problem is, the shar pei likes a little attention and a lot of space.  Admiral is no exception, and so Mykah often ignores his attempts to communicate his need for this space until he nips her-not an acceptable action in a family.  After the move to Kayenta we began to discuss the possibility of getting a more tolerant dog for her to dote on-perhaps a goldendoodle, or pug.

Enter Lady.

Kayenta has many stray dogs animals.  There are packs of horses running free through the town and our neighborhood.  Cows mosey through the streets and dogs roam the parking lots, gas stations, neighborhoods and streets.  When we arrived to our home there were cats in our fenced in yard and that night we were awakened to a cow using our RV as a backscratcher.

A week ago, we were unpacking from our weekend away in Moab and a stray dog approached me.  She scared me at first, as it was dark and you never know if a stray will be friendly or not.  She immediately came up to me, wagging her tail and sat.  I cautiously pet her and she continued to wag her entire body, and nudge my hand with her nose when I stopped.  Admiral of course was going nuts, barking in our yard and trying to eat through the fence as he observed what was happening.  I pet her for a moment and tried to shake the guilt away as I said goodbye to the stray and went inside.

The thought of the stray stayed in the back of my mind for the following days.  JJ would inform me if he saw her, and I continued to keep my eyes out for her, although I never saw her.  We had mentioned her to the kids, very briefly, but I had doubts if we really wanted to take in a long haired stray, especially one of her size as our house is small and our RV is smaller. Two medium sized dogs would seem huge in both places.

Finally on Thursday, she walked past our house and from the sounds of Admiral's barking, I had a feeling it was her.  The kids were ecstatic.  They ran out to see her, but the sight of 4 humans intimidated the stray and although she wagged her tail, she stayed on the opposite side of the street.  The kids backed off and I stayed out, beckoning her to come over.  Finally, she cautiously came over, eager for some attention but retreating once the kids came forward.  After awhile, I went back inside and left it to Annika, who quickly gained her trust as well.  We spent a good portion of the morning trying to lure her into our yard and after a few failures, we finally "trapped" her in the yard, with all points of escape closed.

Days before, we had learned of the IHS/neighborhood rule that "if you feed it, it's yours," and so we knew this dog was now our responsibility.

At first we worried, as she was trapped within our fence, that she was missing her freedom.  She was being offered food, shelter and safety, but she still seemed sad.  She preferred to be outside, even at night and she laid around, wagging her tail in greeting, but not acting like a 1 year old dog would be expected to.

Finally, after a few days and one night indoors, we started to see signs that she liked it here-she didn't want to go outside in the morning!  In the days following, we have seen her personality grow.  She is beginning to reciprocate offers to play with Admiral and this morning, she made her first noise.  Admiral was busy guarding his yard from roaming dogs and from the safety of her fenced in yard, she bounded across the yard and joined in Admiral's barking.  It was such a surprise, the kids all ran outside to see that it was her, making the noise.

While I don't expect we'll follow suit of the other "foreign" employees in our neighborhood and adopt more dogs, I do feel glad that we've helped one furry friend.

As a side note, the kids and I spend several days a week, volunteering at our local shelter.  I hope to be able to put these shelter pets on Petfinder, or some other site to help find homes for these animals, and make room for the hundreds of animals still on the street.  I'll admit, I was skeptical that these street smart dogs would be good pets, but Lady has proved me wrong.

I hadn't intended to start a new blog. I however, have forgotten my password to The Lewis Ramblings, and I felt anxious to begin to write about this chapter in our lives.  I hope to be able to gain access to the old blog-at least to be able to have it printed before "turning the page" and focusing on this new one. 

To summarize our current life, JJ was given an unexpected offer to PCS to Kayenta, Arizona to serve in the health clinic here in mid-July.  We had only recently announced that we would be staying in Portsmouth, VA for another 3-4 years and I had begun settling in-changing my mindset to a more permanent view of our location.  

The change of plans was heartbreaking, as we had, for the first time in 4 years, started to feel at home. We were enjoying wonderful friendships in our neighborhood and beyond. I had a place in the Portsmouth Farmers Market, which was growing, and we were finally involved in a co-op for homeschool group that we were all very excited about. Isaak was excelling in karate and piano, the girls were enjoying dance, and a routine was falling into place...

The trouble was that JJ's career path was leading too quickly to a job he couldn't see himself enjoying for the next 17 years.  His heart was in therapy and he was already entering the world of administration-it's difficult to backtrack after that.  We also felt that God was opening a door we were supposed to enter-a difficult and scary door, but He wasn't closing it and so we entered it.  Within 2 months we were on our way, driving cross country to a place we had never seen, with faith that this was where we were supposed to go, and it would be ok.

We went from this...

....to this.

I'm not going to lie.  It's hard to cut your space in half.  Especially when you have more than enough stuff to fill a house twice this size.

(Yes, that's the moving truck...parked in front of our house...filled with our stuff)

I am learning to overlook the crowded house, as there are more opportunities to enjoy wide open spaces like this....

and this.

It really is beautiful out here.  I had no idea.  I have always vowed never to live in the southwest.  I suppose I should be concerned about what else I may have vowed never to do...